The day I said, “I am finally going to start a blog,” was the day I also decided my first post. I straightened my posture, cleared my throat, and announced that I was going to write about my 3-day juice cleanse. I know you all are SUPER excited to read about this experience so I won’t let you suffer from waiting any longer.

The decision:

Why does one decide to juice cleanse? Well according to the many resources I read, there are a number of reasons. My reasoning was one I explained to one of the children I babysit as I needed to give my body a little restart, just as she would when her tablet needs a little shut down to fix the issues it’s experiencing or update its software. I needed a restart.

Once making my cleanse proclamation, I spent a great deal of time straining my eyes in search of a cleanse that would work well for me (as suspected, not eating does not work well for me. I love food. Sue me.)

One thing you may discover about me is that I’m frugal (though I did not leave you much time to discover this as I just told you straight out.) With my frugality, I wanted to spend the least amount on a cleanse as I could, so, naturally, I went to my trusty friend Groupon. There, I found a lovely 3 day cleanse that seemed very doable. I read some reviews, researched some more, and landed on purchasing some juices from a company called Raw. The juices arrived the next day, I froze them until my decided start date, and then I ate everything in sight to prepare myself (okay, but not really. It does mention you should cut out alcohol, friend foods, and the like, in order to prepare for the cleanse, which I did…mostly.)

Day 1:

They say, meaning the juice company, that it’s best to do the cleanse on days when you are working so you stay busy and don’t think about being a ravenous beast. While this is a lovely thought, my work over the next 3 days was nannying some very hungry children whom I cooked and baked for. If you work in the food industry, or cooking/baking for anyone in anyway, while on this cleanse, you will need extra willpower.

The juices were to be drank in a certain order so I began with my “Detox Greens” juice, which wasn’t bad flavor wise. Juices needed to be drank every 2-3 hours and trust me, I was ready for sustenance when those times rolled around.

Day 1 wasn’t too, too bad, except I was so stinking hungry. I salivated at the thought of anything solid and cried a little because I was trying to get through 3 days of no food.

I wasn’t as hangry as I thought I’d be, but everyone was annoying me. I also was a fuzz brain (this happened all 3 days) and extremely sensitive (doesn’t a cleanse sound so fun!?)

Day 2:

Hunger. That’s it. All I could think of was how bad I wanted to eat. I watched the kiddos again and of course I felt like all they did was eat and rub it in my face.

We went over my sister’s house as a distraction so I could keep them away from their fridge and cupboard.

Things were going well with my distraction. I was just about to join the kiddos in the bounce house when I realized something was not quite right. I quickly excused myself and ran into the restroom and feared that what I felt was true.

It was.

To try and put this as nicely as possibly (though I’m sure you can all guess what happened) I had a slight accident that resulted in having a lovely breeze under my dress for the washer and dryer cycle.

The best advice I can give to you while on a cleanse is this: always bring a fresh pair of underwear.

Day 3:

Day 3. Woohoo! Home stretch. 6 juices to drink, go to sleep, wake up, and eat some solid food. I couldn’t wait. On day 3 I was feeling less hungry than I was on day 1 and 2 but still hungry enough to be excited about eating the next day.

My mouth had formed sores from the acidity of the juices, I had bad acid reflux as well (probably why I wasn’t as hungry) and I was struggling through the juices. Ignoring my own advice, I did not bring myself an extra pair of underwear but I did spend about half of my day in the bathroom, running there when the slightest urge struck me. My bum was sore at the end of the day. But, the end of the day did come. I had never been more excited to go to sleep so I could arise to my “first breakfast?” (I’m not quite sure what to call the first meal after a cleanse so we will leave it at that.)

Following the cleanse:

Morning star “bacon” and whole foods 365 whole wheat waffles never tasted so good. My eyes were bigger than my stomach and I cut my meal short but it sure was tasty.

After reflecting on my cleanse, I decided I will probably never do one again. I am not sure what I expected from it, but from a health standpoint, I didn’t feel much different besides being fuzz headed and cranky. I was down 5 lbs which was nice but my poor mouth was in ruins and it took a while to recover (maybe that’s their tactic for not having you eat so much when your cleanse is over.) Overall, I’m proud of myself for the completion of it but I love food too much and will probably refrain from trying another juice cleanse.

 

Well there you have it. The first blog post down. I’ll pat myself on the back for completing something else. First a juice cleanse, now a blog post…look out world. Clearly I can take on anything.

 

Fin.